What to Expect in Couples Therapy
A Nashville therapist answers your biggest questions about starting couples therapy
If you and your partner are thinking about starting couples therapy in Nashville, you’re not alone—and you’re not failing. This is a GREAT idea and if you’ve never been in couples therapy (or maybe you have tried it but didn't get where you wanted) you are in the right spot. Seeking support and longing for connection, intimacy, and a thriving relationship. Many couples seek out therapy not because their relationship is broken, but because they want to build something stronger, more connected, and more intentional. And building that relationship takes support and help; and that is normal and ok.
Still, it’s completely normal to feel unsure about what to expect in those first few sessions; or really the whole process in general. You might be wondering: What will we talk about? How will we talk about that one really uncomfortable thing? Will the therapist take sides? What if we argue in front of them? Will this really help?
Let’s walk through it together.
Couples therapy isn’t about choosing sides. But sometimes it feels that way.
A lot of people worry that couples therapy will turn into a blame game. Or that you’ll be outed for being the source of all the pain and struggle in your relationship. Or that the therapist will miss the deeper issues as you see them and fixate on something less relevant. But a skilled couples therapist, like the ones we have here at Nashville Center for Trauma and Psychotherapy, won’t act as a referee or judge. Instead, the focus is on the relationship itself—how it functions, where it gets stuck, and how it can begin to heal.
The goal isn’t to figure out who’s right. It’s to slow things down and explore why things feel so hard—and how to reconnect when they do. Its not about ‘your fault’ or blame shifting. Its about building emotional safety, resilience, and deep connection that allows us to name our own struggles and take relentless responsibility of the self; not marinating on shame but embracing the freedom of personal growth and ownership of the self.
As an LCSW, I’ve seen this countless times play out in couples therapy. Where the partnership wants to pin all their issues on one person’s attitude or behaviors and its really so much more nuanced than that. Each party will need a deeply felt sense of safety (that we can cultivate over time and with exercises and practices) to take ownership of themselves. And its not my job as your couples therapist to hammer you over the head but instead to encourage you in your path towards naming what you already know to be hurting and dysfunctional.
You’ll talk about strengths and weaknesses; like communication, sex, boundaries, friendship.
In couples therapy, we don’t just put out fires—we get curious about the deeper patterns underneath them. What happened to you that is making you feel you need to get defensive again? What old wounds are being activated? Who wounded you like this? What does your nervous system do when you feel shut down, overwhelmed, or rejected? What individual work will you need to do to address this pain inside you? How is your pain impacting your relationship?
This is especially important if there’s been a personal history of trauma, chronic miscommunication, or betrayal trauma in the relationship. In therapy, we gently explore what’s beneath the surface so that true healing can begin. Couples therapy is similar in that you get to name your pains and explore their impact on you, your partner, and the relationship.
I’ve witnessed many couples find joy, connection, and meaningful progress within their relationships when they find the words to name their own pains. Opening the door to compassion for the self and insight into the journey we all walk towards healing and wholeness.
Couples Therapy starts with deep knowing.
In the first few sessions of couples counseling in Nashville, your therapist will get to know both of you—your relationship history, your strengths as a couple, and what brought you in for support. The way you navigate and avoid conflict. Your goals and hopes for couples therapy.
Together, we’ll begin identifying patterns, unmet needs, and moments that feel hard to recover from. From there, you’ll start learning practical tools for communication, boundaries, emotional regulation, and repair.
Helping any couple get the verbage and language to name their attachment styles, conflict styles, what is going on when they communicate, giving voice to their deep longings and needs, is maybe the biggest part of the journey. As a couples therapist its my job to help each couple get the tools they need in their toolbelt and then empower them to practice and use those tools to build an amazing relationship that feels way better than they thought they’d ever have. I draw from the tools in the Gottman Method, EFFT, Trauma-Informed Care, and the ever-so-relivant base of Attachment Theories. These things help you and your partner feel empowered to name what's going on and address it with grace and strength.
Looking for Couples Therapy in Nashville?
At the Nashville Center for Trauma and Psychotherapy, we support couples at every stage of relationship—whether you're working through past wounds, navigating betrayal trauma, or just looking to feel more connected again.
Whatever prompted you to read this; stay curious about that and don't hesitate to reach out. There is hope for you and we’ve got several therapists on our team that can meet a variety of scheduling needs and support. The healing and peace and connection and intimacy and joy you’ve been craving is right around the corner; reach out and grab it.
If you’re curious about starting couples therapy in Nashville, we’d be honored to walk alongside you.